The Mentor’s Guide

Your role is to ask better questions, not give more answers.

The Mentor’s Primary Trap: The Advice Monster

From The Coaching Habit: The biggest mistake mentors make is rushing to give advice. Your instinct to help by providing solutions actually disempowers your mentee and creates dependency.

The Advice Monster appears when you:

• Interrupt with “What you should do is…”
• Jump to solutions before understanding the real problem
• Feel uncomfortable with silence and fill it with suggestions
• Believe your experience translates directly to their situation

Taming the Advice Monster:

• Stay curious longer. Rush to advice slower.
• Count to 10 before responding
• Ask “What else?” before offering anything
• Remember: Your job is to develop their thinking, not replace it

The Seven Essential Questions

From The Coaching Habit - use these in every conversation

1. The Kickstart Question

“What’s on your mind?”

Opens the conversation and lets the mentee set direction.

2. The AWE Question

“And What Else?”

The most powerful question. Use it 3-4 times per conversation. It:

• Generates more options
• Creates deeper insight
• Tames your Advice Monster

3. The Focus Question

“What is the real challenge here for you?”

Shifts from external complaints to internal control. The key word is “for you” - makes it personal and actionable.

4. The Foundation Question